We all have many things in common as human beings and parenting is another phase of life. What if there was no parenting at all in this world? so, what is the best way of parenting?
Before we think about further, lets ask this fundamental question.
Do we want children? If yes, Why?
We all answer YES for this question and reason may vary from person to person or parent to parent. Some of them are – to complete life, to enjoy childhood by watching children, to be children again and there were some interesting answers like, to enjoy the wealth what we created, to continue the legacy. We all feel fulfilled when we have a child or children.
40 years ago, what were challenges of parents and teachers? you know?
A study revealed some interesting statistics about children and teenagers recently. As shared by teachers and parents, 40 years ago their challenges were – Children used to eat bubble gum in the classrooms. They used to make loud noise while passing through corridors. When teacher turned around, they start their chatterboxes. It was very difficult to handle these challenges. There were only 17 criminal activities for a lakh children. There was only one source of information and that was transistor or radio. 70% of the people used to fight for religion and involve in communal riots.
You know what are today’s challenges after 40 years?
Same study revealed very disturbing statistics about challenges of parents and teachers today.
Teenagers are slipping into addictions like, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol and Pre marital sex. Gadgets have ruined their physical activities. More number of adults going into depression for many reasons. Over protecting is adding Fear, Stress, Frustration and desperation in our children and teens.
A group study helped us to discover following common challenges based on age groups which leads to bigger challenges later.
0 – 10years
They don’t go out and play.
Eat junk food
Does not value money or things
Ddon’t come to functions
Addicted to mobiles or gadgets most of the time
18 and above
Addicted to mobiles
Over usage of social media, Internet connection
Arguments with parents or teachers
Disrespect to elders
Grownups have more peculiar problem. If they are in a group of friends, they have to follow everyone in the group and if not, other members don’t respect them or they are kept out of the group and bullied over small things. They don’t express it to anyone.
Above listed are very common challenges of today’s parents and teachers. Is it all wrong? NO. Not at all
How? When physical body is formed and born into this world, 5 senses come to existence. Intelligence starts developing along. Child has to fight within to identify right and wrong after certain time. You must have seen/experienced this – initially, when A child starts to speak, it keeps asking questions as “What is this?” What is that? for everything. So, it is developing the knowledge about the things and understanding is developing about things in this world. When it develops little understanding, it starts asking WHY? questions. You must have seen a child start asking, “Why is it required?” “Why should we do it?” “Why do you do this or that?” at this stage, child tries to differentiate between what is right or what is wrong by using it’s intelligence about any subject and it starts arguing or demand things.
In today’s world, children (they may be of any age) want clear justifications, explanations and respect. It is the impact of the ERA.
So, how do we help them to build a strong personality?
If you have 0-10yr old – Help them to make friends around and play along with them to ensure they get right guidance.
Educate them about ingredients of junk food but set a day in a month to eat out and explain.
Argue less before child/kids.
Make kids experience saving money by giving them rupee per day and put it into piggy banks & make them use that money for their birthday for buying gifts or anything they want. So, they get to feel the importance of saving money.
Make children to serve water or snacks to guests who come home. This way they will slowly start talking to people and develop relationships.
Set time in a day to use gadgets, social media or TV
Important thing to remember, We hear many things but do less. Best example is – Some children go to school for a whole year and score only 35% marks. Do you know why?
Because we all copy actions & listen less, kids keep watching elders, parents, surroundings and environment. They keep learning everything from watching and copy the actions unconsciously.
Parenting is not only teaching. it is learning as well from them. When we teach them anything, we should be doing it for making them confident about following it. Teaching children should never stop, specially from the mother because A MOTHER IS EQUAL TO 10 TEACHERS.
As a parent, our job is to build a good boat and leave it in the ocean to sail. You can’t control them but you can always guide them through your right actions as a navigator.
Let’s enjoy parenthood and create powerful & peaceful humanity.
Sathyanarayan V R
Life coach – Consumax Life Empowering pvt ltd.