Tag Archives: Employee management

Consuming and Contributing relationship.

Consuming and Contributing relationship

Hi,

Every glarezone has been adding value to many lives and enhancing wisdom for all of us. Today I love to share something very new about relationship.

We all play number of roles in life and every minute we may have a new role added to life. Let’s take out couple of minutes and recall all our relationships around us. Starting from first circle relationships with intense emotions to a far relationship like some of your forgotten child hood friend, an employee or colleague who worked with you long time ago.

You will have a big list of names and people coming up. Now, let’s do a small exercise. How many relationships are adding value to your life through any means because today we will understand two very important categories of relationships.

Some examples: I have a watsapp group created by my old friends and they keep posting messages, i only reply sometimes and sometimes i don’t. So, in this relationship they are adding value to my life.

I am an important part of the family so, I take care of the needs of family members and in this relationship, I am adding value to those lives.

I am reading a famous book “The 7 habits of highly effective people” and Dr. Stephen covey written beautifully, As a human being, we all are blessed with EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT unlike money bank account. A simple logic is, you need to deposit in order to withdraw money from your bank account, isn’t it? and the more you withdraw lesser the balance. Once the account is empty, you can’t withdraw anymore. But, Emotional bank account is not like this, you can keep on withdrawing how much ever you want.

Consuming and Contributing relationship

Consuming and Contributing relationship

For example: A child will keep withdrawing emotional attention from a mother and it is a never ending process. But, if the account is not deposited back, it goes into negative balance. I have come across a very interesting example for this. A loving mother used to care for an orphan boy living in a garage next door and both boys grew up playing together. Her son got good education and became a doctor then flew to U S  for a job and he got settled. His mother was alone living here and the boy next door always used to take care of her and serve her with good heart. This mother was so attached to this poor boy that she wrote entire wealth on his name thinking that “my own son is well settled, away and he wouldn’t need any of this when he wouldn’t need me”.

Her son was accused of irregularities and removed from his practice for some reason and his certificates were also taken away by local authorities. His wife (who also happened to be a local citizen) divorced him and he lost all his earning as well in the process of dealing with situations. With this pain he comes back and see his own mother was passed away and wrote all her wealth to the boy used to live in garage.

What does it show? It shows how important is to deposit into emotional bank account with your loved ones.  Her son was so busy in building his career and life that he forgot to love, care and keep the emotional attachment intact and never deposited into his emotional bank account with his mother.

A child is a consuming relationship. In this relationship, you will only see child is withdrawing love, care, energy from it’s mother and when the child grow up, don’t you think he/she must deposit all those withdrawals? When this process happens it’s called “Contributing relationship” so now, check if you are in which category.

In a very interesting relationship of a husband and wife, we become consuming relationship. We keep on expecting some or the other things and keep hurting each other. for ex: If wife likes romantic movies, husband likes action movies and while watching a movie, they both argue for silly reasons. We all must understand that we all are different from each other and we have to respect each other’s opinion if not accept.

You need to check who can make you comfortable, feel good and feel alright during tough times, they are your depositors or contributing relationships. And are you giving small comforts for those contributing relationships?

How can you deposit into emotional bank account?

Its very simple, through all those small actions makes someone comfortable. Lets say your parents love to eat together or like to talk to you, make sure you give time. If your spouse loves to go on long drive or have her favourite dish, give those experiences to him/her.

Keep up all those small commitments that you overlook or ignore thinking “it’s a very small thing, it can be done anytime”. Those small things mean a lot to some one close to you because they keep on adding balance to your emotional account.

If you are a parent, make sure your child gets all the freedom, respect, love and care to explore life. be a CONTRIBUTING RELATIONSHIP as much as possible and you will never have a tough situations with people.

 

By

Sathya Narayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Glarezone 377 – Fine Tuning Life

Fine Tuning Life

Hi,

How are you doing? hope it’s been a good week for you in all the ways..

Let me share something interesting that i learned this week and discovered some new dimensions of comprehending things and situations.

Fine-Tuning

Fine-Tuning

I am running for TCS 10K marathon happening in Bangalore in May. I have been running marathon for the last 2 years and its an amazing experience. I have completed 22K marathon running and I was feeling that i have become a good runner. After 22K marathon, I had become little slow during practices and running sessions.

My coach observed this and he gave a feedback. He said “Sathya, you are good runner however, you begin at good pace and slowing down at the end. It is very important that you run faster at the end in the race and that is what makes you winner. It’s okay to start slow but end faster”

I felt amazing and i applied that during uphill running which made me feel good. I understood it’s essential to get feedback. It is just not feedback, it is FINE-TUNING because I was already a good runner. This made me realize, we get relevant and right feedback in any domain only by an expert.

 

I shared this instance because, people think about everything and go everywhere with judgemental mindset. Last week there was a session arranged by the marathon runners group about diet for upcoming event and they had invited a dietician to take the session. There were about 80 people confirmed their presence and only 20 people turned up. This clearly shows that people judge everything based on either their perception or 1 or 2 instances that they have heard. It was a very helpful session about proper diet and she said “we give diet based on your blood report and not just generalized chart because every human has different diet requirement, specially for runners”. This was not just regular but it was FINE-TUNING the knowledge about the diet.

I just wanted to know if I have implemented FINE-TUNING of attitude at home. I went to drop my daughter to school and while driving I asked her a question “We are living in a good home, have nice vehicle and 2 businesses. So, What would you do when you grow up” and she spontaneously said, I will help as many people as possible paapa because you are earning lot of money” and I understood.

Do you go to people who help you with right feedback and do FINE-TUNING for you? Make sure you listen  to those fine-tuning words that can help you move ahead in life because we get those people very rarely in life. DON’T PREJUDGE ANYTHING

Now that we have understood the importance of FINE-TUNING, I would like to share another instance with you. A lady came to me and said, “I have been trying everything in my life to come out of financial crunch but still no good. I have been implementing everything i learn and still feel i’m failed many times. Why is this happening to me?” I helped her to understand that she is not ready to listen to her own self and cribbing too much inside and I gave many examples to make her understand “DESPERATION DELAYS EVERYTHING”

TIME is an important factor when it comes to manifestation of dreams and desires. Many times we feel we are making a lot of efforts but unable to achieve what is expected. You just have to keep making efforts and result is assured but you would never know when that would come. Keep 30% buffer time for everything. Be it a commitment you made, be it a delivery of product or giving service you have promised or anything for that matter. and one more thing before we finish today – If you are playing a role of FINE-TUNING, you have to understand that people tend to forget everything because time flies and everyone wants to go ahead. So, you may feel people don’t really care for good feedback. It’s you who have determined to help someone. so, FOLLOW UP TILL YOU CATCH UP.

 

By

Sathya Narayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Lord Krishna & Human life

Glarezone – 371

Topic: Lord Krishna & Human life

We are born as human beings and we need to ask questions, find answers and live life journey as a boon. In order to do that, we must understand the truths of life.

One of the essential questions like that “Who is a complete man”?

We may have many answers such as A leader, Inspiring human, A man fulfils all his responsibilities and so on..

Lord Krishna

Lord Krishna

In hindu religion, it’s believed that lord Shri Krishna is a complete man (Purushotham). and it is proven through stories of his life and all stories about krishna and his life journey have a significant impact on human lives. Mahabharat relates to human life in all the aspects even today. Let’s see what are the wonderful points that we can pick up from these stories.

As we at Consumax discuss essential aspects of human life like – Physical mastery, Mental, Emotional, Intellectual, Social & Spiritual mastery, Lord krishna taught this to the world through his own life.

We never see any picture of Krishna with emotions other than gentle smiling face. His pictures, idols and explanations always show that he was always calm, composed and happy all the time. isn’t it? He ruled Dwaraka, Mathura & Brindavan as a king, though he was born in jail. This signifies that a man can be born in any situations but what he makes of his life matters the most. Which many of us failed to do so by keeping excuses that “I was born in a poor family, I didn’t have proper education, I was born in a village and so on..”

Physical mastery: Lord krishna had tremendous control over his physical body.

Krishna always looks gentle, mild and soft but he was so capable of turning his body into a strong diamond when required. We can see this quality from the time he was a child. Be it killing of Poothani, Bakasur & other demons or Be it taming of the great King Kobra “Kalinga” when he was poisoning yamuna.  Kalinga narthana has a very important message about taming our ARISHADVARGAS like “Kama, Krodh, Madha, Moha, Lobh, Matsarya” and taking them to the control can help us to have peaceful life.

Mind Mastery: Entire life of Lord Shri Krishna was so well planned as we can see, his birth was also pre-planned.

A couple of examples of his planning: When shri krishna was attacked by Jarasandha for 17 times, Krishna didn’t kill him. Instead he kept on destroying the entire army of demons. He was clear that Jarasandha will keep uniting demons army and come back for a war and it’s easy to destroy the demons. Kalavayana was one other demon had a boon from brahma that vishnu can’t kill him in any forms. So, Krishna planned so well that he was killed by Muchukunda. During Kurukshetra, Krishna made so many plans and executed all of them in a disciplined manner, tamed all the situations, challenges to uphold the right V/S wrong.

 

Emotional Capability:

Krishna was so well balanced emotionally that nothing ever bothered him or made his smile fade away. He was so well connected to all his friends and Gopikas. When Kuchela comes to krishna seeking for help and brings only 3 fists of poha, he couldn’t ask anything Krishna but Krishna understands everything without telling and he eats the poha brought with love for 3 times and Kuchela becomes so wealthy in no time.

Intellectual Mastery:

Krishna was intellectually above all human beings. There were many situations in Mahabharat which were complex to understand for a normal human beings such as Karna had 3 great boons (Nagastra, Karna Kundala,  Vajra kavacha and Brahmastra). Only Krishna knew that he can be defeated or killed only if he gives away Karna Kundala and Vajra Kavacha. Krishna planned everything to defuse all the powers that karna had and he used Kunti (Karna’s mother) as well. This shows us the great wisdom he had to foresee into the future with the help of meditation and connecting to the universal energy.

Social Life:

Lord Krishna’s characteristics and personality is loved by every human being. He was a great social icon and he was always loved by people. When Kalavayana rages war against Krishna and thinks of destroying whole Brindavan and it’s people, Krishna requests Vishwakarma to build a new city overnight and shifts all the people of Mathura to the new city. When Indra forces Varuna (Rain god) to flood the brindavan to show his powers, Krishna holds Govardhana Parvath on his small finger and rescue all the villagers and animals. This quality shows how Krishna was a protector of the society and he took the responsibility of assuring the best to his people.

Spiritual Ability:

Lord Krishna is called YOGESHWARA for all the following reasons.

He was the creator of YOGA who taught the world about RAJA YOGA, BHAKTHI YOGA,KARMA YOGA & GNANA YOGA.

Lord Krishna’s life journey and stories always teaches that any human being can become a divine soul by practicing all the above characteristics.

Mahabharat has essential message for human life.

Human body & life is explained through Mahabharat. We all have Krishna within us that is our “Wisdom”. We all have 5 senses (PANDAVAS), There is a fickle MIND in every human being (DRAUPADI) and all our problems are KAURAVAS.

Just rewind your life and check how many of these qualities you are practicing during good or bad times in your life, business or relationships and see if you can adopt more to life and make it better.

By

Selvaraj Narayan

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

How to get the job done from others?

Glarezone – 357

Man chained with office table (workplace) 2

Topic: How to get the job done from others?

How do you test the patience of a man? There would be many answers. But, leave him with a child and ask him to get the child ready on Monday morning and send him to school.

It so happened on a Monday morning when my wife asked me to get my 3years old son ready and drop him to school within 8.30am.

I started waking him up at 7am and with all the efforts managed to wake him up at 7.45. After this, he started whining about brushing teeth and taking bath. I tried to convince him but in vain, it was already 8am and I am also getting late. Slowly temper was increasing and i shouted angrily on him to get ready. Suddenly, he said, “I don’t want you, I want mamma” and i was shocked. Immediately i realized what was wrong and started telling a story to him and drawing his attention to get the job done. Finally dropped him school at the exact time and i reached office as well.

I was contemplating about this incident and comparing with so many situations that we come across in life where we have to get the job done from others and we fail many times. In-fact, every second we have to get things done by others for us. But, It’s not easy because everyone acts in different ways and the one method will not work with all. And this is the biggest challenge for many business owners.

What is your way of getting the job done from others?

Pay tips, Remind about good things they did/doing, Appreciation, Pleasing, fulfilling their need, helping them in their difficulties…and the list goes on…

Have you asked yourself anytime whether your method is getting the job done everytime?

We must understand that every human being does everything to either add pleasure or avoid pain in life. Many times, people don’t perform poorly even after knowing well about their responsibilities and they will know if they don’t do it today, it will pile up for tomorrow.

Say for example, your maidservant knows that she has to wash clothes and if not washed, she has to take extra burden tomorrow. However, still she doesn’t do it. Seen it happening?

Employees know that they will grow if they perform well but still they don’t do it. Children at home know if they study well, every one will appreciate them. But, still they don’t pay attention.

If you say, you have a manager or supervisor for everything and they will get the job done, it’s better. When we do the analysis about all these factors as a proprietor, we take action immediately and bypass the manager or supervisor who was supposed to be there to get the job done. But, there are times when you have troubles from getting the job done though.

So, what is the best way to make someone work efficiently or be consistent? You must check, if the person is ready to listen because satisfied stomach will never make a man motivated. Before you start to assign a task to anyone, do your homework. Put a small thought process.

I love to share this example from my own experience. I have a company with 42 branches and 5 groups. Of late, i have observed performance drop in 1 sales group and i decided to work with them to bring the performance back.

I called the director of the group for a meeting. I made him feel important and explained about what is expected from director’s position. Then, i called a meeting with sales force and announced a competition. This competition includes flying to goa for a 2 days vacation in company’s expenses. This has really boosted the energy of the sales force. But, still there was a manager reluctant to the changes.

Show people with

This is when i applied all three types of impacts

a. Auditory

b. Visual

C. Experiential feelings

And got the manager excited about the new competition and he was boosted up to be the first one to achieve the target.

People will listen to you and work as you expect when they see something not expected. for ex: a maid is working at a house for a simple reason that they give Health insurance for her entire family for 1 year and renew it at the end of the year. This kept her motivated to work continuously.

Some companies have adopted unique ways of recognizing top performers by giving reserved parking space for a month. out of the box idea.

There are some situations where you have to use stick instead of carrot. For ex: People in your top mgmt levels feel they know everything and they only got the company growing, everything is happening because of them. For these types of people if you show the benefits, they will only get motivated for sometime and forget what they are doing. So, you need to use the STICK method instead of SHOWING CARROT.

But, How do you use the stick? if you use it directly, it will hurt or pains and you will only have to console because you are the boss. So, set the defined processes for every action and responsibility. Ask questions and justifications when it is not achieved. This way, you can define the levels of using stick.

If you want to motivate others, you need to stay hungry. Check if you are still hungry or satisfied. Understand the best way of getting the job done. Analyze if your method is working or you are just trying to please someone not worthy of it. Use the stick method if necessary and make your actions process oriented.

There are so many people who give up because they feel, they can’t get others to work or get the job done. remember; YOU ARE NOT A LOSER UNTIL YOU ARE IN THE GAME.  BE A SELF-MASTER

Share your story if you are benefitted by this knowledge

- BY

Sathyanarayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering