Tag Archives: Relationship

Consuming and Contributing relationship.

Consuming and Contributing relationship

Hi,

Every glarezone has been adding value to many lives and enhancing wisdom for all of us. Today I love to share something very new about relationship.

We all play number of roles in life and every minute we may have a new role added to life. Let’s take out couple of minutes and recall all our relationships around us. Starting from first circle relationships with intense emotions to a far relationship like some of your forgotten child hood friend, an employee or colleague who worked with you long time ago.

You will have a big list of names and people coming up. Now, let’s do a small exercise. How many relationships are adding value to your life through any means because today we will understand two very important categories of relationships.

Some examples: I have a watsapp group created by my old friends and they keep posting messages, i only reply sometimes and sometimes i don’t. So, in this relationship they are adding value to my life.

I am an important part of the family so, I take care of the needs of family members and in this relationship, I am adding value to those lives.

I am reading a famous book “The 7 habits of highly effective people” and Dr. Stephen covey written beautifully, As a human being, we all are blessed with EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT unlike money bank account. A simple logic is, you need to deposit in order to withdraw money from your bank account, isn’t it? and the more you withdraw lesser the balance. Once the account is empty, you can’t withdraw anymore. But, Emotional bank account is not like this, you can keep on withdrawing how much ever you want.

Consuming and Contributing relationship

Consuming and Contributing relationship

For example: A child will keep withdrawing emotional attention from a mother and it is a never ending process. But, if the account is not deposited back, it goes into negative balance. I have come across a very interesting example for this. A loving mother used to care for an orphan boy living in a garage next door and both boys grew up playing together. Her son got good education and became a doctor then flew to U S  for a job and he got settled. His mother was alone living here and the boy next door always used to take care of her and serve her with good heart. This mother was so attached to this poor boy that she wrote entire wealth on his name thinking that “my own son is well settled, away and he wouldn’t need any of this when he wouldn’t need me”.

Her son was accused of irregularities and removed from his practice for some reason and his certificates were also taken away by local authorities. His wife (who also happened to be a local citizen) divorced him and he lost all his earning as well in the process of dealing with situations. With this pain he comes back and see his own mother was passed away and wrote all her wealth to the boy used to live in garage.

What does it show? It shows how important is to deposit into emotional bank account with your loved ones.  Her son was so busy in building his career and life that he forgot to love, care and keep the emotional attachment intact and never deposited into his emotional bank account with his mother.

A child is a consuming relationship. In this relationship, you will only see child is withdrawing love, care, energy from it’s mother and when the child grow up, don’t you think he/she must deposit all those withdrawals? When this process happens it’s called “Contributing relationship” so now, check if you are in which category.

In a very interesting relationship of a husband and wife, we become consuming relationship. We keep on expecting some or the other things and keep hurting each other. for ex: If wife likes romantic movies, husband likes action movies and while watching a movie, they both argue for silly reasons. We all must understand that we all are different from each other and we have to respect each other’s opinion if not accept.

You need to check who can make you comfortable, feel good and feel alright during tough times, they are your depositors or contributing relationships. And are you giving small comforts for those contributing relationships?

How can you deposit into emotional bank account?

Its very simple, through all those small actions makes someone comfortable. Lets say your parents love to eat together or like to talk to you, make sure you give time. If your spouse loves to go on long drive or have her favourite dish, give those experiences to him/her.

Keep up all those small commitments that you overlook or ignore thinking “it’s a very small thing, it can be done anytime”. Those small things mean a lot to some one close to you because they keep on adding balance to your emotional account.

If you are a parent, make sure your child gets all the freedom, respect, love and care to explore life. be a CONTRIBUTING RELATIONSHIP as much as possible and you will never have a tough situations with people.

 

By

Sathya Narayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Glarezone 377 – Fine Tuning Life

Fine Tuning Life

Hi,

How are you doing? hope it’s been a good week for you in all the ways..

Let me share something interesting that i learned this week and discovered some new dimensions of comprehending things and situations.

Fine-Tuning

Fine-Tuning

I am running for TCS 10K marathon happening in Bangalore in May. I have been running marathon for the last 2 years and its an amazing experience. I have completed 22K marathon running and I was feeling that i have become a good runner. After 22K marathon, I had become little slow during practices and running sessions.

My coach observed this and he gave a feedback. He said “Sathya, you are good runner however, you begin at good pace and slowing down at the end. It is very important that you run faster at the end in the race and that is what makes you winner. It’s okay to start slow but end faster”

I felt amazing and i applied that during uphill running which made me feel good. I understood it’s essential to get feedback. It is just not feedback, it is FINE-TUNING because I was already a good runner. This made me realize, we get relevant and right feedback in any domain only by an expert.

 

I shared this instance because, people think about everything and go everywhere with judgemental mindset. Last week there was a session arranged by the marathon runners group about diet for upcoming event and they had invited a dietician to take the session. There were about 80 people confirmed their presence and only 20 people turned up. This clearly shows that people judge everything based on either their perception or 1 or 2 instances that they have heard. It was a very helpful session about proper diet and she said “we give diet based on your blood report and not just generalized chart because every human has different diet requirement, specially for runners”. This was not just regular but it was FINE-TUNING the knowledge about the diet.

I just wanted to know if I have implemented FINE-TUNING of attitude at home. I went to drop my daughter to school and while driving I asked her a question “We are living in a good home, have nice vehicle and 2 businesses. So, What would you do when you grow up” and she spontaneously said, I will help as many people as possible paapa because you are earning lot of money” and I understood.

Do you go to people who help you with right feedback and do FINE-TUNING for you? Make sure you listen  to those fine-tuning words that can help you move ahead in life because we get those people very rarely in life. DON’T PREJUDGE ANYTHING

Now that we have understood the importance of FINE-TUNING, I would like to share another instance with you. A lady came to me and said, “I have been trying everything in my life to come out of financial crunch but still no good. I have been implementing everything i learn and still feel i’m failed many times. Why is this happening to me?” I helped her to understand that she is not ready to listen to her own self and cribbing too much inside and I gave many examples to make her understand “DESPERATION DELAYS EVERYTHING”

TIME is an important factor when it comes to manifestation of dreams and desires. Many times we feel we are making a lot of efforts but unable to achieve what is expected. You just have to keep making efforts and result is assured but you would never know when that would come. Keep 30% buffer time for everything. Be it a commitment you made, be it a delivery of product or giving service you have promised or anything for that matter. and one more thing before we finish today – If you are playing a role of FINE-TUNING, you have to understand that people tend to forget everything because time flies and everyone wants to go ahead. So, you may feel people don’t really care for good feedback. It’s you who have determined to help someone. so, FOLLOW UP TILL YOU CATCH UP.

 

By

Sathya Narayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

A new beginning & new ending

Glarezone – 376
Topic: A New Beginning & New Ending

A new beginning & new ending

A new beginning & new ending

Hi,

There were some questions asked by people about pranik healing and reikhi healing. He asked “which healing works? People have confusion about which one to follow”

Well, I say, every healing works Irrespective of the method or process followed. It is just like exercise, ultimate expectation is to get good health. Because human life is always what one makes of it. As Sanskrit slogan says “Yad bhavam tad bhavati”
We spoke about different ways of celebrating birthdays last week. Hope you got an opportunity as well to utilize and make someone’s day happier.

Let me add some more ways of making birthdays even more worthy. You know, sometimes we recall a name that is impossible to forget. Some examples like – a friend helped you in tough time, a teacher guided you in a right way, your relative who consoled you in a sad situation or be it anyone for that matter who made you what you are today. You won’t forget that name till your last breath, isn’t it?

That someone, who will always remain in your heart because of his/her selfless care and love for you. I’m sure you would have a name in your heart by now.

Now, let me ask you some questions. How many lives can you touch in a year? How many people are you supporting like the way you received? Do your parents feel proud of having you as a son/daughter? Can you make your teacher proud of being your teacher? If you are proud of working in a big organization, can you make that organization’s management proud of having you as an employee? These are some of the opportunities of adding value to your life year on year. If you haven’t started yet, you still have time till your birthday.

Now, I read a famous author’s writing in kannada “Manku Timmana Kagga” written by D.V.G. in one of the famous poem, he says
ಹುಲ್ಲಾಗು ಬೆಟ್ಟದಡಿ, ಮನೆಗೆ ಮಲ್ಲಿಗೆಯಾಗು
ಕಲ್ಲಾಗು ಕಷ್ಟಗಳ ಮಳೆಯ ವಿಧಿ ಸುರಿಯೇ
ಬೆಲ್ಲ ಸಕ್ಕರೆಯಾಗು ದೀನ ದುರ್ಬಲರಿಗೆ
ಎಲ್ಲರೊಳಗೊಂದಾಗು ಮಂಕುತಿಮ್ಮ

Translation for those who don’t know kannada

Be a (gentle) blade of grass at the foot of mountain, and jasmine flower at home,
Be (strong) like a rock when fate pours (torrential) rains of difficulties on you,
Be sweet like sugar and jaggery to the poor and weak,
Be one among all, Mankuthimma
This has a lot of meaning and adds wonderful value to human life if adopted and followed. We all can live like this, can’t we?

This is a special time for hindus as it is a beginning of the new year. It is an auspicious festival (Yugadi – start of the new era). Let’s discover something interesting factors about beginning and ending.

How do you start or end anything makes a big difference. Because human mind remembers only the beginning and the ending of everything, take an example of anything for that matter. If you go to a movie, you will only remember the beginning or ending situations of the movie. If you go to any conference, it will be the same. Like this, you may find many examples, let’s say you fight with your spouse and the funny thing is, only the reason to begin or the last word will be remembered (which could be dangerous as well if you are a husband). If you want to correct your employee’s attitude or motivate him/her, it’s very important that you begin and end the conversation on a positive note and make them feel happy and in between, you can certainly give feedback.

Can you influence people by asking positive questions because people answer for what you ask, can you add value to lives with your presence in their lives?

My daughter shared a quote that was written at her school “Don’t cry, it’s over. Feel Happy, It happened” If you have gone through difficult year or a difficult phase of life, remember these words and mark a new beginning to this new year starting from this YUGADI, Wish you all the best.

By
Sathyanarayan V. R.
Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Lord Krishna & Human life

Glarezone – 371

Topic: Lord Krishna & Human life

We are born as human beings and we need to ask questions, find answers and live life journey as a boon. In order to do that, we must understand the truths of life.

One of the essential questions like that “Who is a complete man”?

We may have many answers such as A leader, Inspiring human, A man fulfils all his responsibilities and so on..

Lord Krishna

Lord Krishna

In hindu religion, it’s believed that lord Shri Krishna is a complete man (Purushotham). and it is proven through stories of his life and all stories about krishna and his life journey have a significant impact on human lives. Mahabharat relates to human life in all the aspects even today. Let’s see what are the wonderful points that we can pick up from these stories.

As we at Consumax discuss essential aspects of human life like – Physical mastery, Mental, Emotional, Intellectual, Social & Spiritual mastery, Lord krishna taught this to the world through his own life.

We never see any picture of Krishna with emotions other than gentle smiling face. His pictures, idols and explanations always show that he was always calm, composed and happy all the time. isn’t it? He ruled Dwaraka, Mathura & Brindavan as a king, though he was born in jail. This signifies that a man can be born in any situations but what he makes of his life matters the most. Which many of us failed to do so by keeping excuses that “I was born in a poor family, I didn’t have proper education, I was born in a village and so on..”

Physical mastery: Lord krishna had tremendous control over his physical body.

Krishna always looks gentle, mild and soft but he was so capable of turning his body into a strong diamond when required. We can see this quality from the time he was a child. Be it killing of Poothani, Bakasur & other demons or Be it taming of the great King Kobra “Kalinga” when he was poisoning yamuna.  Kalinga narthana has a very important message about taming our ARISHADVARGAS like “Kama, Krodh, Madha, Moha, Lobh, Matsarya” and taking them to the control can help us to have peaceful life.

Mind Mastery: Entire life of Lord Shri Krishna was so well planned as we can see, his birth was also pre-planned.

A couple of examples of his planning: When shri krishna was attacked by Jarasandha for 17 times, Krishna didn’t kill him. Instead he kept on destroying the entire army of demons. He was clear that Jarasandha will keep uniting demons army and come back for a war and it’s easy to destroy the demons. Kalavayana was one other demon had a boon from brahma that vishnu can’t kill him in any forms. So, Krishna planned so well that he was killed by Muchukunda. During Kurukshetra, Krishna made so many plans and executed all of them in a disciplined manner, tamed all the situations, challenges to uphold the right V/S wrong.

 

Emotional Capability:

Krishna was so well balanced emotionally that nothing ever bothered him or made his smile fade away. He was so well connected to all his friends and Gopikas. When Kuchela comes to krishna seeking for help and brings only 3 fists of poha, he couldn’t ask anything Krishna but Krishna understands everything without telling and he eats the poha brought with love for 3 times and Kuchela becomes so wealthy in no time.

Intellectual Mastery:

Krishna was intellectually above all human beings. There were many situations in Mahabharat which were complex to understand for a normal human beings such as Karna had 3 great boons (Nagastra, Karna Kundala,  Vajra kavacha and Brahmastra). Only Krishna knew that he can be defeated or killed only if he gives away Karna Kundala and Vajra Kavacha. Krishna planned everything to defuse all the powers that karna had and he used Kunti (Karna’s mother) as well. This shows us the great wisdom he had to foresee into the future with the help of meditation and connecting to the universal energy.

Social Life:

Lord Krishna’s characteristics and personality is loved by every human being. He was a great social icon and he was always loved by people. When Kalavayana rages war against Krishna and thinks of destroying whole Brindavan and it’s people, Krishna requests Vishwakarma to build a new city overnight and shifts all the people of Mathura to the new city. When Indra forces Varuna (Rain god) to flood the brindavan to show his powers, Krishna holds Govardhana Parvath on his small finger and rescue all the villagers and animals. This quality shows how Krishna was a protector of the society and he took the responsibility of assuring the best to his people.

Spiritual Ability:

Lord Krishna is called YOGESHWARA for all the following reasons.

He was the creator of YOGA who taught the world about RAJA YOGA, BHAKTHI YOGA,KARMA YOGA & GNANA YOGA.

Lord Krishna’s life journey and stories always teaches that any human being can become a divine soul by practicing all the above characteristics.

Mahabharat has essential message for human life.

Human body & life is explained through Mahabharat. We all have Krishna within us that is our “Wisdom”. We all have 5 senses (PANDAVAS), There is a fickle MIND in every human being (DRAUPADI) and all our problems are KAURAVAS.

Just rewind your life and check how many of these qualities you are practicing during good or bad times in your life, business or relationships and see if you can adopt more to life and make it better.

By

Selvaraj Narayan

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

LOVE & LIVE

Topic: LOVE & LIVE

Let’s start with the story today.

Love & Live

Love & Live

A Businessman goes into deep financial losses and he becomes depressed and thinks about committing suicide sitting on a park bench. He keeps thinking different ways of killing himself. Meanwhile an old man come to him and asks “why are you sitting like this?” but Businessman does not reply to his question, this old man is so persistent that he says “tell me what is the your problem and i can solve it, I am WARREN BUFFET”. Businessman feels he can share his trouble and he explains everything to the old man. After listening to everything, old man opens a cheque book and gives a cheque worth 1 million dollars and says “use this money and if you become successful, you can return it to me or you can keep it”.

Businessman feels happy but he starts thinking, “why should i use this money, this is not mine” and he starts thinking about what is the real problem and how can he come out of it through planning and action. Finally, he decides not to use the money and set up an action plan and works on it. He successfully clears all his loans in 6 months and set up a successful business. Then he comes back to the same park and sits on the same bench, expecting the old man to appear to handover his cheque. An old man comes running into the park and 2 people dressed in white clothes are chasing him. Businessman asks this old man “what happened and why are you running?” mean while others hold the old man and asks businessman “Did he say, he can help you? and he is warren buffet and did he give you a cheque?” Businessman says “YES, but what happened?”. People dressed in white say “This guy is a retard and he keeps escaping from mental hospital next door and comes to this park, then he start giving cheque leaf to people like this”

What do you understand from this story?

Everything was there inside the Businessman, but he had lost faith. He didn’t believe that there is support available outside and he was struggling to love himself. The moment he regained the faith inside, he didn’t need help. It is only the faith of getting support from outside made him to gain the confidence and guts to change his life.

A biggest limitation that all humans have is “we never know the value of anything until we lose it” Love for self is also the same, and the story above is just an example. Not only our feelings, if we don’t love self, we knowingly ignore health, relationships & responsibilities. so, LOVE YOURSELF.

What is LOVE?

 

A mother always cares for her child no matter how the child is. A sister asks her brother “why are you looking so dull? let’s go for dinner or i’ll cook something for you? A brother consoles his younger/elder brother by saying “don’t worry, i’ll help you solve this problem” and in the same way – husband, in-laws & everyone shower love on us.

But, we keep definitions about love based on many perceptions and expectations. Everyone expects someone else to express love towards them. But, everyone also feels “i don’t have to say it. he / she has to understand, Love is not expressed directly” isn’t it?

Everyone has their own ways of showing love to someone they care for. But we all expect something else and crib about it without understanding the expressions. even GOD loves us but we blame him when we run into difficulties. so, LOVE EVERYONE around you.

for ex: When a child starts crawling for the first time and trying to reach a toy, parents keep that toy little far so that the child should learn to stretch itself, isn’t it? God is a father who knows his child can stretch and reach to anything it wants so he gives small successes very soon and makes us go through difficulties to get bigger things in life.

When you LOVE LIFE, there is always uncertainty & insecurity, no one lives life without challenges and challenges make us stronger and break the limitations, comfort zones and bring better life. so LOVE CHALLENGES.

LOVE OTHERS by listening to them without any distractions and express your love and care for them. If you don’t express your love, no one will come to know about it because it’s human limitation.

Some other ways we see the expressions of love are

If a boss pays salary to all his employees on time, he loves his employees. If an employee come to office on all working days without any excuses or despite of health issues, he loves his job and his work.

A child asked god “if everything is written in my fate, why should i prey again?” and god said “Son, it’s true but also in the same page, i have also written “LIVE AS YOU WISH”

So LIFE is always what you make of it. give maximum LOVE to everyone in life so that you can also LIVE AS YOU WISH.

 

BY

Sathyanarayana V.R.

Founder & Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

HUMAN LIFE & PURIFICATION

Glarezone  – 370

Topic: HUMAN LIFE & PURIFICATION

Human Mind always works on what is given to it through 5 senses. So, it’s always what you think and what you give to your mind matters a lot in every action you take followed by results.

Human life & Purification

Human life & Purification

The purest element in the world is SOUL . During the journey of living, Mind keeps getting contaminated through the 5 senses and creates a mask around the soul which decreases the energy of the soul. It will get energized by only timely purification process or we all someday forget the source of energy called SOUL.

for example: If you have a 2 or 4 wheeler vehicle, what happens if you don’t service the vehicle after it’s due time? you keep driving it for thousands of KMs without a service, What happens then? It slowly develops noisy engine, fear of breaking down, weak breaks and you can’t enjoy the ride at all. Like it’s important for a vehicle to be taken care periodically, we must take care of our mind and soul.

There are 10 different types of purifications that can make our lives heavenly and smooth journey.

1. Physical Body is purified by WATER & EXERCISE

We all go through the journey of life in this vehicle called body. It is purified by water & exercise. As we all know, 78% of the earth filled with water and look at the science of human body as well. On an average 72% of the human body filled with fluids and water. All researches and experiments have proven the importance of drinking water. Drinking a ltr of water in the early morning will settle down all chemicals released through digestion and de-toxify the entire body. every cell is rejuvenated and energized for a whole day. If you don’t have the practice, start from today.

Exercise is another form which makes you swet and takes out all toxics from the body.

2. Breathe is purified by PRANAYAM

People living in the city go through many ailments of breathing problems because of increased amount of carbon dioxide in the environment. Practice pranayam early in the morning (before 8am) and you will experience the difference. Your eyes will sparkle and skin glows.

3. Mind gets purified by CHANTING & MEDITATION

Mind generates 60 thousand thoughts a day. Chanting will bring the mind to focus & meditation will help to decrease the number of thoughts generated so that peace of mind is attained.

4. Intelligence gets purified by KNOWLEDGE

Intelligence is a natural guiding force or faculty that shows right & wrong (inner voice that always shows what is right). We always have confusion in following natural laws. for ex: Speed is dangerous, there is a contradictory law says what is the use of buying ticket after the train takes off. Many situations present a challenge in choosing what is right. Only RIGHT KNOWLEDGE can help us to choose what is right. So, read more books, seek for knowledge about anything that you want to learn.

5. Memory gets purified by MANAN & CHINTAN

What if there was no concept called memory and we all forget everything after a sleep? Unimaginable isn’t it. But, same memory has to be purified through review and contemplation. Remove unwanted memories of incidents, situations or experiences stored in the mind and release yourself from the clutches of emotions attached to those experiences.

6. EGO gets purified by SEVA/SERVING

We all really feel happy from inside when we serve someone without any expectations. If you feel, you are superior anytime, you will start losing the creative energy and people around you. So, howmuch ever you serve is always less. If you haven’t done it so far, start from home. start serving your own parents or close relatives who care for you.

7. Self gets purified by SILENCE.

When the mind is silent, it starts becoming more powerful and focused about taking next action for making lives better. Practice being silent at least an hour every day and you can see the difference.

8. Food gets purified by POSITIVE THOUGHTS WHILE COOKING & EATING

It always matter how the food is cooked. You may have eaten food in many places but you will feel fulfilled only with the home made food because with all the ingredients an essential aroma is added to the food called LOVE. When mother/granny/wife/sister cooks the food, they add their feeling and love to the food which makes it special.

9. Wealth is purified by DONATING / GIVING

As wealth gets accumulated, it brings great amount of fear as well for many people. This fear comes only when the person feels “I have money which is not mine or which i don’t deserve”. People who become wealthy by hard efforts will never feel scared of wealth.

10. FEELINGS / BHAV is purified by LOVE

Unconditional love is the only way of purifying the feelings about anyone in this world. Anything we have today was not with us when we were not born. Start LOVING every one who comes into your life and you will not have enmity with anyone in this world and it purifies your feelings about everything and everyone.

 

By

Sathyanarayana V. R.

Founder & Master Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Parenting & Challenges

We all have many things in common as human beings and parenting is another phase of life. What if there was no parenting at all in this world? so, what is the best way of parenting?

Parenting & Challenges

Parenting & Challenges

Before we think about further, lets ask this fundamental question.
Do we want children? If yes, Why?

We all answer YES for this question and reason may vary from person to person or parent to parent. Some of them are – to complete life, to enjoy childhood by watching children, to be children again and there were some interesting answers like, to enjoy the wealth what we created, to continue the legacy. We all feel fulfilled when we have a child or children.

40 years ago, what were challenges of parents and teachers? you know?

A study revealed some interesting statistics about children and teenagers recently. As shared by teachers and parents, 40 years ago their challenges were – Children used to eat bubble gum in the classrooms. They used to make loud noise while passing through corridors. When teacher turned around, they start their chatterboxes. It was very difficult to handle these challenges. There were only 17 criminal activities for a lakh children. There was only one source of information and that was transistor or radio. 70% of the people used to fight for religion and involve in communal riots.
You know what are today’s challenges after 40 years?

Same study revealed very disturbing statistics about challenges of parents and teachers today.

Teenagers are slipping into addictions like, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol and Pre marital sex. Gadgets have ruined their physical activities. More number of adults going into depression for many reasons. Over protecting is adding Fear, Stress, Frustration and desperation in our children and teens.

A group study helped us to discover following common challenges based on age groups which leads to bigger challenges later.

0 – 10years
They don’t go out and play.
Eat junk food
Does not value money or things

10-18 years
Ddon’t come to functions
Addicted to mobiles or gadgets most of the time

18 and above
Addicted to mobiles
Over usage of social media, Internet connection
Arguments with parents or teachers
Disrespect to elders

Grownups have more peculiar problem. If they are in a group of friends, they have to follow everyone in the group and if not, other members don’t respect them or they are kept out of the group and bullied over small things. They don’t express it to anyone.

Above listed are very common challenges of today’s parents and teachers. Is it all wrong? NO. Not at all

How? When physical body is formed and born into this world, 5 senses come to existence. Intelligence starts developing along. Child has to fight within to identify right and wrong after certain time. You must have seen/experienced this – initially, when A child starts to speak, it keeps asking questions as “What is this?” What is that? for everything. So, it is developing the knowledge about the things and understanding is developing about things in this world. When it develops little understanding, it starts asking WHY? questions. You must have seen a child start asking, “Why is it required?” “Why should we do it?” “Why do you do this or that?” at this stage, child tries to differentiate between what is right or what is wrong by using it’s intelligence about any subject and it starts arguing or demand things.

In today’s world, children (they may be of any age) want clear justifications, explanations and respect. It is the impact of the ERA.
So, how do we help them to build a strong personality?
If you have 0-10yr old – Help them to make friends around and play along with them to ensure they get right guidance.

Educate them about ingredients of junk food but set a day in a month to eat out and explain.
Argue less before child/kids.
Make kids experience saving money by giving them rupee per day and put it into piggy banks & make them use that money for their birthday for buying gifts or anything they want. So, they get to feel the importance of saving money.
Make children to serve water or snacks to guests who come home. This way they will slowly start talking to people and develop relationships.
Set time in a day to use gadgets, social media or TV

Important thing to remember, We hear many things but do less. Best example is – Some children go to school for a whole year and score only 35% marks. Do you know why?

Because we all copy actions & listen less, kids keep watching elders, parents, surroundings and environment. They keep learning everything from watching and copy the actions unconsciously.
Parenting is not only teaching. it is learning as well from them. When we teach them anything, we should be doing it for making them confident about following it. Teaching children should never stop, specially from the mother because A MOTHER IS EQUAL TO 10 TEACHERS.

As a parent, our job is to build a good boat and leave it in the ocean to sail. You can’t control them but you can always guide them through your right actions as a navigator.

Let’s enjoy parenthood and create powerful & peaceful humanity.

-By
Sathyanarayan V R
Life coach – Consumax Life Empowering pvt ltd.

Marriage & relationship

Glarezone – 360
Topic: Marriage & relationship

Marriage & Relationship

Marriage & Relationship

A question for you, why do we need values?
Values are the measuring scales for standards. Entire humanity is based on emotions and all humans are emotional beings. Values for life will define the way we all lead our lives.

for example, when you started a business, you started alone and then added some people as employees and started to market your product or service and might have given lot of credit or tried to please your employees to work with you and not to quit. At some point of time, you realized the importance of defining guidelines for all the departments and you started implementing them.

Just like, working hours for employees, Credit policy for vendors and customers, Policies for accounts department and so on…isn’t it?
And from the moment you defined all the policies, you saw changes in every activity of the business towards growth path. These policies are nothing but VALUES that you have set.
Now, What is the value of + or – ?

We generally tend to put it as positive and negative, isn’t it? but look at them again. They are just not symbols, they have their own essence and significance.

Can you imagine numbers in your business without adding or subtracting? it’s impossible. We need both of them because you can’t only keep adding everything to business and you can’t keep subtracting from your business.

Same comparison applies to life as well. Man by nature alone has own values whereas woman on the other hand got the same as well. If you look at any husband and wife, they have the same characters of + and -. They both form energy when they come together, but most of the husbands keep complaining about wife and woman complain about husband.

Imagine the life if 2 persons with the same qualities get married, It will get boring very soon and both of them loose interest in each other. If you look at your own life partner, you will find many differences in the way you look at the life and your spouse. This is why, it is said “marriages are made in heaven” by calculating and matching all the qualities of each other.

HOW TO MAKE MARRIED LIFE INTO HEAVEN ON EARTH?

Marriage is all about adding strength to your life partner. When you know what your life partner’s challenge is, you can support him/her to overcome instead of pointing it out and hurting each other’s emotions. Husband and wife come to know about each other’s true qualities very soon after the marriage. It’s very important to add much needed strength. just ask yourself a question, can you become your life partner’s greatest strength?

If you can, that is the precious gift to your life partner for sharing entire life. Have enough patience in every situation and add strength in bad and even in good times as well.

BY
Sathyanarayana V R
Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering Pvt Ltd.

Expectations and Relationship

Expectations

Is there a Relationship in the world without expectation?

A couple were married for a long time. Husband was a good man but he went through lot of tough times in life. He lost lot of money in business, he went through legal trials for a mistake that he did not commit & he met with an accident and bed ridden for a long time. He went into coma after the accident and when he opened his eyes, he saw his wife standing by his side. He called her closer and started to speak “You were with me all the times, you were next to me when I went into losses, you stood next during the legal trials, you were next to me when I met with this terrible accident.” Wife was feeling so happy by listening to that, but he continued, “I think you are my BAD LUCK” because some one told him it could be the case.

Husband – wife relationship is very peculiar and different from all other ones, which is built on expectations.

Expectations and Relationship

Expectations and Relationship

A guy had a bullet (royal enfield) bike when he fell in love. He could not hear his girlfriend while going on a bike. He got so frustrated that he sold his bike and bought a moped. They got married and just in a year’s time, he sold moped and bought big noise making bullet again.

There was a shopping mall made an announcement saying, they are selling husbands and you can choose your desired husband. All women including married ones got so excited and rushed to the mall. There was a long queue and many women were waiting in the line to experience this amazing opportunity to see and choose husbands.

There were different categories of men allotted in the rooms with the following boards at the entrance.

1st room – Decent husbands

All women who entered came out with curiosity of “what is in the next room, i may get better option”

2nd room – Decent husbands with good jobs

Still women were not happy and they wanted to see more and went to the next room.

3rd room – Decent husbands with successful business

Yet, no one selected any husband and curious about next room, so went to the next one.

4th room – Decent husbands with business, money, humble heart.

Women, the more they saw, they were getting more and more curious. No one wanted to miss the opportunity of checking what is in the next room.

5th room – Decent husbands with handsome looks, business, cooking skills, passion for cleaning, serving & taking good care of kids.

Men in this room as well could not make anyone settle for choosing one. All women wanted to visit the next room.

The last room did not have any board at the entrance but inside the room, there was a big board stating “You are expecting too much, your options are over, go back home.”

There are 3 types of expectations.

1. Basic expectations / own expectations

2. Conditional expectations

3. Borrowed expectations

What are the expectations of wife?

Basic expectations / own expectations

She always wants the toilet should be clean, flushed after use. Help her in cooking & keep the kitchen clean. Hung towel only outside and not throw on the bed. Should not forget anything she says. Specially, dates and events, sometimes even the colour of her clothes she wore in special occasions. You should never praise other girls in front of her. Should understand what she wants without she saying it and the list goes on….

So, are expectations bad?

NO, these are all basic expectations. Aren’t they? There is no life without expectations. if you don’t have expectations from anything, then you have nothing to look forward for. This is the biggest reason for most of the married couple lose interest in each other. Expectations are nothing but HOPE to live. You should have basic expectations from your kids such as, he/she should obey your words, develop good attitude, behaviour and talent. You must have expectations from your employees such as they should come to office on time, finish the assigned job before time lines, take initiatives and work for the growth of the organization. So, you should have expectations from everything.

Conditional expectations

They come from our beliefs. The problem is we all cling on to outdated expectations most of the times. for example, we expect our kids to have fear of parents saying, “i never argued before my dad or parents, I always use to listen to them. I was afraid to speak to elders about anything, I use to respect all elders.” but today’s children are more advanced and they seek explanation and justification for everything, they like to be friends with elders and they like to discuss about their wants and desires. Have you checked if those expectations were your own? all of those were conditioned in to our minds in a long period. Isn’t it?

Borrowed expectations

All un-married girls or boys will have imaginary expectations about their life partner. They would build imagination of marriage, family, relationship and life based on what they hear and see around them.

another good example is, a neighbour women talk about their experiences and if one woman talks about going on trip/buying new things or foreign vacation, it immediately triggers a fire of expectations in another woman and she will borrow this expectations back home. these are called BORROWED EXPECATIONS.

How to handle expectations?

Expectations and Relationship

Expectations and Relationship

Expectations have to be expressed. It can be expectations with self as well. Provided opposite person knows your expectations, you will feel peaceful with self. How? The moment you express your expectations, you will feel free because you will not have assumptions that the other person knows you better and he/she will only understand without telling anything. No one can know what is in your mind or what are you thinking un till you say it.

So, will this be all to handle expectations? NO, there is an important action you need to take and that is, you must listen and live up to your own people’s expectations as well before you impose your expectations.

Position expectation is a big obstacle in any relationship. for ex: if you feel, i’m the boss and everyone should only listen to me. I’m husband and wife doesn’t have any right to argue with me. My son / daughter must obey all my orders because i’m the head of the family. These will only make us disturbed when the expectations not met. if you don’t get something expected from opposite person, give a gap/some time, stay quiet and away from that person. this will help both to understand what is required.

With all this, you must do the following analysis for every expectation.

Is it a original / self expectation? such as, my life should become good, I should fulfil all expectations of my family members, I must expect the best of my abilities. Because only these type of expectations will make life happier and you will gain SELF-MASTERY

Or Is it conditional expectation? check if it is outdated and is it required to hold on to the same?

Or Is it Borrowed expectation? Check if some one or something influences it, which is not badly required for life.

When you have clear understanding of expectations, you will become more peaceful and start making choice of right expectations.

If you follow all these steps for every expectation, you will gain SELF-MASTERY over expectations.

 

- By

Sathyanarayana V R

Life Coach – Consumax Life Empowering